This is genious making your new music video star all the coolest internet legends. The chipmonk really sells it.

Am I immature for thinking this is fantastic? Probably, but that doesn't matter.

Whatever you do don't buy a ladder from TV. If you do you deserve what this guy got.

Video

When good phone sex goes bad.

This is pretty extreme. Doctors said he suffered only some cuts to his lower lip and jaw.

Continue reading "Runner Slams Face Into Hurdle"

Copied from the MySpace of The Liar's Club, one of San Diego's premiere beer bars.

1. You are at someone's house, and all they have is Bud Light - you opt for water.
2. You spend up to 5 minutes looking for the alchohol content on the bottle before taking a sip
3. a girl invites you home from the bar and before making a decision, you ask her what kind of beer she has. Or, someone calls you an arrogant bastard and you think that you've been offered a beer.
4. You go to the grocery or liquor store and spend over 10 minutes looking at all the beer, then leave without getting anything and drive to another location.

Continue reading "You Know You're a Beer Geek When..."

People that call live news broadcasts just to say titties are incredible.

Continue reading "Fox News Prank Caller"

Here's one thing I'm gonna go ahead and say I won't be doing for a long time if ever since I went and busted my back. Riding off a big ass jump into a lake can be filed under awesome.

"That's what I think of TV news."

This makes me want to puke. Someone should've died, but supposedly no one did.

Video

http://view.break.com/329276 - Watch more free videos

Just a few people get out of this van when the border patrol stops them. Just a few.

Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

This is a great idea, taking the crappy food you buy at KFC, Taco Bell, etc. and photographing it to compare to their advertisements. You won't be surprised at how nasty they look. I'd rather drink some pruno in some cases (see below).

:: Read ::

Pruno, a prison wine created from fruit, sugar and ketchup, is such a vile and despicable beast in the California state penal system that prisoners can't eat fresh fruit at lunch.

Funny read. I'd make some, except for the fact that I'd rather put a bunch of Tijuana sewage on a hamburger bun and call it dinner. Mmmmmm dysentery and hepatitis.

:: Read ::

Just the way I like my noodles. Perched on a toilet for effect.

This is incredible. Borat deleted scene with a massage therapist.

Watch Video

I can not stress enough how hilarious this little gem is. First look here. Then watch the movie below. Best thing I've seen in recent memory.

Watch "The Pony Movie"

Point and Laugh. I want Vista to try out, but this speech recognition is just stupid. Way too long, but a funny video.

No amount of these videos will satisfy my urge to watch people completely fail at life. Getting to $0 on Who Wants to be a Millionaire: Owned.

Total Moron

I went into this video with low expectations and figured it would be extremely unfunny. It's actually kinda good though. Sorry about all the bullshit flash ads on the site.

Watch Video

Geez. This chick seriously eats shit hard.

Watch

Earth Crisis, one of the most influential hardcore bands of all time sat down with Lambgoat for an interview to talk about the past and the upcoming reunion show. One highlight was a question about a guy from Denmark who apparently tattooed the EC logo on his face. Well, I've tracked it down (not very hard) and here you have it.

Tat 1
Tat 2
Tat 3

Earth Crisis interview

If you've seen any of these 9/11 conspiracy videos that float around the internet this is one hilarious reaction. Most of the shit on his website is, but I quite enjoyed this one.

There is no 9/11 conspiracy you morons.

Glad we got that all cleared up.

I'd say this worked as intended. Yep.

The wildest bitch slap this side of the Mississippi.

Watch Video via xo.typepad.com

What would we do without Conan in our lives. This iPhone ad rules.

Hey I happen to like people eating shit at the bowling alley. Pain equals funny.

Bowling bloopers

This is great because it reminds me of many a time getting thrown out of bowling alleys.

Zero-Gravity Bowling

This is ridiculous. Aries Spears impressions of Snoop Dog, Jay-Z, etc. Really f*cking good.

Hey, sometimes you just gotta climb up on a vending machine and try to backflip off. We all get the urge once in awhile. I usually make it though...

BBRetro.com

This might be old, I don't know, but either way it's totally rad. Drinking and driving power wheels down hills and off ramps can never be a bad decision.

- Thanks Travis

This guy sort of makes me want to take a weed eater to my general crotch area.

This guy is seriously my hero.

This kind of stuff will never be not funny.

This guy is probably a really cool dude. Click on to watch the video.

Continue reading "Nascar Windshield Karate Kick"

For some reason I really like this. These people played a game of vollyball over the US/Mexico border fence for over an hour until border patrol showed up and told them it had to stop. There's just something great about it. They even played against Mexicans, which is way better than a few of them running to the other side.

All this activity finally brings down the hammer of the border patrol, and a jeep shows up to separate us. The officer is friendly but firm. He’s just come on shift and has no idea we’ve been playing volleyball over the fence for the past hour.

“Really?”

He tells us that a daredevil launched himself across the border in a cannon a while back, but that ours was, in fact, the first-ever game of international border volleyball.

“And it worked over that tall fence?”

“Yup,” we say. “We’re up for one more round if you want to play.”

“No, man,” the officer says. “I’m on duty.”

¡Viva Border Volleyball!

If you ever wanted to hear Alex Trebek say "with my mind on my money and my money on my mind" then here's your chance.

Watch Video

I was trying not to get caught up in all the Steve Irwin stuff, but this video is pretty great and I couldn't resist posting it. I think it's because I love Conan O'Brien so much.

Steve Irwin @ Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Mmmmm, mmmmm, bitch! I'll take a Samuel Jackson, too!

This is an incredible Daily Show clip, and features Steve Carell.

Found at Hedonistica

A forum filled with pics from a super sweet car show. How amazing are some of these rides!?

View Forum

It doesn't get a whole lot better than this, folks.

Watch Video

It doesn't get much better than retarded chicks does it? I would've guessed "11,111"

found at Hedonistica

After six years of being a part time On Air Personality at WBLX, Inetta the Mood Setta exits WBLX in Mobile with a BANG! Listen to her quit live on the air unexpectedly Saturday afternoon!

Listen
Inetta's MySpace

Here's Bixler-Zavala's departing quote in full: "I will pay $100-1,000 to somebody to find the person that's throwing urine up here. I will give you free merchandise and a lifetime supply [of tickets] to a Mars Volta show. Find that person and kick his ass for me, bring me his head-- and we'll be friends!" As of press time, no heads had been delivered.

Go there for a video as well. Nasty.

Read

Even if you know zero Japanese this video is pretty awesome.

"Just for the record...don't try this David." That's always a great start to a video of someone about to jump from one thing to another.

Watch Video

Whether or not Steve-O already did this, it's absolutely CLASSIC. Look at that bastard try to shove water up his nose afterwards.

Watch Video

I don't suggest ripping this guy off on Ebay...or he might make a site like this that will ruin your life on a global scale.

the broken laptop i sold on ebay

Everybody loves a good compilation of soccer red cards and fights! Click on for the video...

Continue reading "Soccer Fights Video"

Brilliant. Simply great.

Video

This is a pretty great reason.

Reason No. 877: Youtube.com

Just in the past week, I watched a clip of an old Mike Tyson interview with Jim Gray where he repeatedly praises Allah, then vows to eat Lennox Lewis' children. I watched a clip of A-Rod wiping down his bat during a game in the most inflammatory way possible. I watched a montage clip of horrible Jets draft picks over the years, followed by the crazed reactions of the Jets fans as the picks were announced (did anything top the Jeff Lageman pick?). I watched a clip of an interview in which an aging Iron Sheik repeatedly vowed to, um, humiliate other wrestlers in the most emotionally scarring way possible. I watched the famous clip of Joe Namath trying to kiss Suzy Kolber. I watched the clip of the "boom goes the dynamite!" guy for the umpteenth time. I even watched the clip of Roddy Piper slamming the coconut against Jimmy Snuka's head. So here's my question: In a million years, did you ever think this would happen? One decade ago, I didn't even have an e-mail address or know what the Internet was ... now I can watch Piper slam a coconut against Snuka's head whenever I want? What will the world be like 10 years from now? Is it possible to procrastinate for 24 hours a day? Are we headed that way?

Full Article {thanks Jason}

David Blaine fails in his attempt to break the world record by holding his breath for 9 minutes under water tied up in chains. Only one thing is for sure on this sad Monday evening: Chuck Norris would've pulled it off.

Slippers with headlights are an incredible idea. Wait...we're receiving an update...no they aren't.

Bright Feet Site

I can't believe this is real. Of course your nav system can have errors once in awhile, but are you really going to drive into a river despite the posted signs?

Read Article

OK the main take-home point from this article is that more women want to have sex with Osama Bin Laden than Gilbert Gottfried. Sure he might have an annoying voice and look like a constipated rat terrier, but he's not trying to murder anyone. Maybe.

See the whole list

This is by far the drunkest dude I've ever seen try to walk. I can't imagine what a night he must've had. Or morning, whatever the case may be.

Watch funny drunk video

This is awesome. So painful...and awesome.

Watch Video

ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious including ninjas.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a suspicious individual near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

Hey, you gotta watch out for those college ninjas, I heard they're educated, coked up, drunk, and deadly.

Read Ninja Story

You know how much I enjoy Goatse references, so here's another, from the Omaha Public Library.

View

Greatest video I've seen all day. I wish there was sound, I bet his scream of surprise and pain was incredible.

Gas station accident {via}

I forgot how great this video was (really old). Nose broken by skinheads on his show.

Also the amazing Chris Everett video if you haven't seen it.

Click on to see the videos...

via Lambgoat blog

Continue reading "Geraldo Gets His Nose Broken + Chris Everett Video"

Everyone already knows how big a fan I am of tributes to Goatse. Well, this one probably takes the cake.

iGoatse

Hey, at least he made it! On second thought...

Watch at Hedonistica

It's funny how many spotters he had, and this still happens...

Watch Video

This is totally normal. In a situation like that who wouldn't cut it off and throw it!?

Read

(KDKA) McKeesport There's a new twist in an extremely bizzare story out of McKeesport.

Police had been investigating a report that a customer handed a clerk a severed penis to heat up in the store's microwave...Continue Reading.

If you're a fan of such acts as As I Lay Dying and Unearth this may interest you. Lambgoat has reviewed the release "Killing With A Smile" from Parkway Drive, and after hearing the sample track I'd say they are dead on.

Not a song goes by without pathetic overdone lines such as "If looks could kill, you'd be a fucking shotgun against my head, so fucking cold" or "Your cyanide lips rip us apart". These sad attempts at emotional lyrics reach rock bottom when, in the middle of a breakdown in Romance is Dead, all music cuts out and vocalist Winston McCall yells, "So cry me a fucking river bitch". Justin Timberlake, eat your heart out.

Ah, the hilarity. Too bad lyrics can ruin a CD, because I can actually get past the lack of originality - when it comes to metalcore, I haven't found anything original in awhile anyway.

Read Lambgoat Review

Hilarious. This guy thinks they're serious, and all they do is make fun of him.

This is awesome. The friendster comment at the beginning caught me off guard. Comic gold, plain and simple.

This is one of the funniest Daily Show clips I've ever seen. It's comic genious. Dick Cheney shot a 78 year old man in the face, and they've got a lot to say about it.

I have to admit I had low expectations for this, but it ended up cracking me up. The guys scream was very well done. I don't know if it's new or old, but it's new to me.

Watch Video

Looks like a whole lot of fun for everyone under him...

View {via}

Be careful what you post about yourself on The Facebook and MySpace if you still plan to get a job after college.

Christine Hirsch, president of Chicago Resources, a professional-services recruiting firm, says she regularly uses Google and other sites to check on candidates. In one instance, she found details about a candidate on a law school Web site describing disciplinary actions related to a fraternity prank involving public intoxication. The candidate, who had received a verbal offer (and who had disclosed a drunken-driving conviction in college), didn't get the job after the new information surfaced.

Read Story

Hey, whatever, I thought it was funny.

Via

With Moscow experiencing the coldest spell for a generation, an animal trainer decided that in order to keep his elephant warm he would feed it a bucket of vodka. He may have succeeded in warming up the elephant but it quickly got drunk and proceeded to wreck the man's central heating system.

Also a zoo south of Moscow is feeding its monkeys wine in order to "protect against colds".

Read Story {via}

Anyone this dumb deserves everything they get. Who really lights a firecracker in their mouth?!

Watch Video

Apparently this is old, but either way it's probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. By far.

Watch Skiier Have Problems

How many Windows sounds can you find in this piano piece? Pretty sweet.

Listen

The descriptions of these are actually really funny. I enjoyed #10.

View Worst Products

Imagine the nasty things they said to each other. That's just plain sick.

Read Story

There's Tom and then there's black Tom. You decide.

This guy got seriously layed out by that horse.

Watch Reporter Get Owned

If you remember my post about the Dillinger Escape Plan interview I basically agreed with a lot of his comments about the scene. Mostly though, I found it to be an entertaining read. Over a year later I get 3 hilarious comments (scroll down) from 3 people who most likely just graduated middle school, stopped listening to A Simple Plan, and moved on to badass bands like Avenged Sevenfold and more importantly Atreyu (wow...what a band). Check out this bold statement:

I hope one of those bands comes to this site and sees this, 'cause if they did, all hell would reign onto your worthless little life!

I only wish they would come reign some hell onto me. Sounds like fun. Now excuse me while I go pop my Hanson CD back in.

And as for everyone else, email darkslipsystem@yahoo.com and tell them to get a life.

Update: Another funny comment and I've responded in my own comments. Avenged fans are hilarious, keep that shit coming. But don't ditch your 8th grade history class just to send me comments!

All I can say about this bowler is geeez.

Watch, great bowling

Theres no way I could have named this any better. So gay.

Watch Skating Video {via}

Why do it yourself when you can pay $290 and have this machine take care of it for you. Hell, think of the multitasking if you have both hands free.

Robotic Relief

This guy is quick on the draw, to say the least.

Watch Video {via}

“It’s bad enough that our soldiers in Iraq have to drink non-alcoholic beer,” notes Ron, DrinkingStuff’s chief product designer, “add to that the fact they may be shot at while drinking it and you can see there’s a problem waiting to be solved.”

Read More

Best thing ever: running across a parking lot and having a stop sign kick your ass.

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"For 40 exhausting minutes, Wayne Goldsberry battled a buck with his bare hands in his daughter's bedroom.

Goldsberry finally subdued the five-point whitetail deer that crashed through a bedroom window at his daughter's home Friday. When it was over, blood splattered the walls and the deer lay dead on the bedroom floor, its neck broken."

Read

I imagine I'd react the same way if a dead body that I was examining suddenly moved.

Watch {via}

This is the funniest video I've seen in awhile. I'm a little late on posting it but in case you haven't seen it. Some idiot on the 300 dollar question...

Watch

How many times do I have to tell you Jon Stewart is a genious? This is brilliant!

Jon Stewart at the Emmys

--Thanks Chris

Hey, at least he's there giving moral support you know?

View image

Chris points out that these people got kind of "pwned" by that dance floor. It's pretty brutal. Unfortunately I have no brutal category so it just went to funny.

Watch Video

India launches 'healthy beer'

Wild orgies leave the Great Wall in mess, and tears

I think my friend may have been at this thing on the great wall, and I'm not kidding. He's living in Beijing right now...

{via}

Leave it to the Japanese to market a beer for kids, obviously without alcohol.

"Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," reads the product's advertising slogan.

Continue Reading

These girls feel like real idiots, especially since collegehumor posted it!

webshots chicks

Now these are by no means new links. But they're new to me so I'm guessing they're still new to a lot of people.

These are 3 of the funniest speeches I've ever read. Take some time out of your busy work day to read them.

Conan O'Brien - Harvard 2000 Commencement
Will Ferrell - Harvard 2003 Class Day Speech
Jon Stewart - William & Mary 2004 Commencement

-- Thanks to the Beautiful Courtney for the Conan link

These are the funniest and worst things I've seen all day. Maybe all week or month. And not necessarily in that order...

:: Owned! (haha)::
:: Owned! (ouch)::

An email I received about Manure:

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone
came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was
determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the
term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has
come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had alays thought it was a golf term.

True? Who knows. Sounds feasible.
-- Thanks Jessica

I really love watching people eat shit. Although these are just images it's almost better getting to see the action stopped here. His face on the floor is so tragic and defeated.

:: View ::

This dude is the lead singer, lead guitarist, basist and drummer of his band. Wait, that means he's the only guy in the band! Wow!
My only objection to his music is how often he says "beeyotch," but to each their own.

:: Videos ::

Someone paid $407,500 to go on a "date" with carmen electra. Who the hell has that kind of money? You can get a Carrera GT for that kinda cash! 5 bucks says he doesn't even get her naked, and really, what's the point then?

:: View ::

"Screw the fire department, those clowns will take all day to get here. I'll just put this one out myself..."

View

Appetizing, disgusting, and hilarious wrapped up into a nice little package.

:: View ::

The BBC has revealed its embarrassment at requesting an interview with Bob Marley - 24 years after the reggae legend died. The corporation sent an email to the Bob Marley Foundation asking the singer to "spend one or two days with us" for a documentary on his hit song "No Woman No Cry". In a statement, the Beeb said: "We are obviously very embarrassed that we didn't realise that the letter to the Marley Foundation did not acknowledge that Mr Marley is no longer with us."

:: Read ::

I'm pretty sure this diet pill or whatever they're trying to sell is extremely bad for you, but the commercial was pretty sweet. Nothing like a good old fashioned MILF reference.

:: View ::

More than this guys stupid dance moves I find it incredibly sweet how many places in the world he's seen. He's been to more countries than I have states in the US.

:: Watch ::

This is amazing. Watch these 2 videos, where they start a musical in the middle of a lecture or in the middle of the library when it's super quiet. I think the lecture one kicked the most ass.

:: Library Musical ::
:: Lecture Musical ::

:: Official Site ::

Thanks Bryan

I kid you not, this is an actual Ad Google ran on this site. I'm not sure why it appeared, or how often it does, but I find it slightly disturbing. Here's a small screenshot. If you ever get this same Ad do me a favor and click it, tell me what the hell it's about.

View image